Letting go of the need to control what I can’t.

As a goal-setter and over-planner, I oftentimes fool myself into the faulty thinking that I can control how everything in my life unfolds. This is a pure act of self sabotage that only leads to frustration. I am sure that all of us, at some point in our life, have experienced physical, mental and/or emotional tensions that make us burn our  emotional energy wastefully. These tensions evoke feelings of uneasiness and we ended up by finding ourselves somewhat “stuck in time” trying to make sense of the chaos in our life.However, I have come to realise that in order to bring emotional well-being and spiritual freedom into my life I must let go of what I can’t control. I must learn to surrender and acknowledge that there are things in life that cannot be planned, predicted or prevented.

No matter how hard I may try to plan ahead, life is always going to throw surprises my way and that is the true essence of it. Thus, keeping this in mind, I recognise that my need to control is rooted in fear and I am letting myself be open to whatever life throws my way. I choose to let go of my need to control what that I can’t as well as to let go any thoughts that do not serve me. Of course that this requires a mindset shift that is definitely not easy. It is actually very challenging and a journey in itself. Nevertheless, it does get easier as we go.  Things in life go much more smoothly, when we simply allow them to happen instead of attaching ourselves to outcomes, push things to happen how we want them to and try to run the show of life. If we do this, we will see life as being more peaceful, effortless and overall more joyful. We will be able to see a whole new plethora of opportunities.

Letting go is not “to get rid of” because, oh well, that is just not realistically possible.What I mean by it is to become aware of it but emotionally detach myself from it. The need of control will still be there, but if you don’t identify with it or hold onto it, it can no longer hold onto you.

I have realised that in order to let go of my need of control, I must:

  • Learn to surrender to the here and now. The present moment is all we really have and can rely on.
  • Learn to trust in the Universe and to go with its flow whilst embracing uncertainty. Swimming against the current of life is exhausting and pointless and it will only bring pain and suffering into our lives. I recognise how important it is to go with the Universal flow of life, use it to pave my future one moment at a time and believe that I will be able to deal and handle whatever is thrown my way. At the end of the day, we “grow through what we go through“.
  • Learn to see life through the eyes of Love and accept whatever comes my way as it is. Accepting the unforeseen and seemingly bad situations is key for my life to fall into place. After all, I just magnify and give power to whatever we refuse to accept and resist.
  • Make “thinking positively” and “feeling great” top priorities in my life. I attract what I invest my time and energy into.
  • Be gentle with myself at all times and acknowledge that I am enough and capable to tackle and successfully overcome any setback. 

     

So when your head is spinning around in circles trying to get one step ahead of a situation that you perceive as a threat, just stop and get in touch with your inner emotions so you can grasp the reason for that need of control. Once you understand it,  then let your feelings be without acting on them. Even when you find yourself trapped in fears, anxiety and worries because something bad just happened or is bound to happen, please do not let that situation consume your thoughts. Accept it and have confidence that you will be able to handle. By accepting it, you will experience less distress and you will manage to think more clearly and reach a solution. Focus your emotional energy on what you can control, rather than on what is beyond your control.We can’t take full control over everything that happens to us but we can certainly take the steering wheel of our life and lead it in the direction we want.

I strongly believe that our thoughts and beliefs shape the way we interpret our reality, and, ultimately, help to create it. From my standpoint, there are only a few things in our life that we can control. They are our thoughts, actions and how we react to what happens to us. As a direct result, by taking control of these things we might indeed control what happens to us.

Our frame of mind dictates the way how we live our lives so let’s wrap our mind in a cocoon of positivity and acceptance of what is beyond our control and let it take an active role in shaping our reality. ♥

Much Love,

Blissfully Grateful